If you get a woman to chase you, you know
she’s attracted to you.
On the other hand, if you start to chase HER,
you usually tend to LOSE the woman, as she
loses the attraction she felt for you.
The question though, a question I spent YEARS
figuring out the hard way, is:
How do you START a conversation with a woman
WITHOUT making it obvious that you are “chasing her”?
After all, the fact you started talking to her
makes it clear you have at least some interest
in her.
Well, some people like to think the answer is
to give women a series of backhanded
compliments, which is really a series of subtle
insults.
For example, the guy will say something
nice to the woman, like “nice smile” and then say
something like “but you have weird hair” or
whatever other insult they could come up with.
The idea behind all this, is that this way supposedly
you don’t validate her, so now she will pursue you in
her quest to get validated.
Unfortunately, this is NOT ENOUGH, for the simple
reason that a woman has to feel some ATTRACTION
to begin with, before she will care about whether you
are validating her or not.
So the REAL ANSWER to, “How do I approach
a woman without making it seem that I am chasing her?”
is to get her MESMERIZED with you as fast
as possible so that she stops THINKING about
the fact you approached her, and is instead more
more concerned with her OWN interest in YOU
and how to ensure that she gets YOU!
In her mind, the fact you approached her
only means that you are CONSIDERING her,
not neccessarily CHASING her.
Now, at that point, of course you can lean back and
chill out and let her chase you.
If she’s attractive, you can be sure she will
enjoy chasing you, (don’t go overboard, and
don’t get abusive, ever, of course) since she
usually gets things too easily and that bores her.
So, instead of looking at value from a negative standpoint,
and giving women insults and then hoping they
will want to get validated by you, the best way to
go is to actually CONVEY REAL VALUE –
so that she WANTS to chase you.
By “real value” I mean getting her FEELING
A SERIES OF INTOXICATING EMOTIONS
THAT GET HER HEART PUMPING.
From a chemistry/romance/attraction point of view,
that’s the highest form of value you can give a woman.
In fact, women will become ADDICTED to you
if you can do this, because emotions are addictive,
and the more you can give her, the more she will
become obsessed with you.
This is when a woman doesn’t just want you,
but wants you BAD!
As the rock group “Foreigner” said, she will
call you on the phone and tell you it’s URGENT
that you meet her right now:
So now, I’m going to give you some of the WAYS
to convey value and attract her, all of which have
nothing to do with harming her self-esteem or
any other negative stuff.
ONE: THE PARTY IS WITH YOU
This was one of the first “holy *&^%” moments
when I discovered this. Basically, what this is,
is that you adopt the mentality that there IS
a party going on, a GREAT PARTY in fact, and
that you are the CENTER of this party!
And you do this no matter what the heck is
“really” going on- you behave like everyone
around you is VISITING this party or has
just arrived.
And, you behave as if they are all super-friendly
and admirers of you- wishing that you would chat
them up too, in addition to all the other cool people
who you were chatting to before them.
This means ANYWHERE you are, you now
have the LICENSE to do all kinds of fun
playful and even risqué stuff, because it’s
all perfectly fine in the name of the PARTY.
You could get away with more sexual comments,
you could make fun of anything, you could make
any joke, you could SAY anything, if you are really
FEEELING THIS PARTY VIBE.
The key to making this work, is to not even
leave your ROOM or the house or building
until you have gotten yourself into this PARTY
state of mind.
You need to do whatever it takes to get the
PARTY inspiration, but don’t use alcohol
or drugs obviously as that is not only not
healthy but will screw up your performance –
so I suggest you listen to PARTY MUSIC
that you love instead.
The other thing to making this work is that
you have to anticipate BEFOREHAND that
you might meet a woman ANYWHERE
and so this way you are READY for the
moment when the moment comes- whether
it be in the coffee shop, bookstore, elevator,
bus, or school, ANYWHERE.
You have to be ready BEFORE it happens,
not just when it happens, or it’s too late.
Say you’re getting off the elevator and a
gorgeous creature happens to be right in
front of you- you can do something like this:
Give her this look, up and down, and
DON’T DO IT WITH SHAME, do it
like a MAN, and then give her a bit of
a nod, as if you’ve just given her your
stamp that she qualifies, and you could
even say “the party is this way” and
gesture toward where you’re going,
or you could even say “The party is
HERE!” and point to yourself.
Again, this stuff requires you to be
in FULL party state, the reason it works
is because since YOU are in that state
and showing it, it makes it EASY for her
to join this state as well, because the reality
is that EVERYONE wants to be having
MORE FUN, no one wants to get more
depressed and formal and official, and
here you are having a great time ALREADY
and just inviting her to playfully join.
Again, the key is that you are ALREADY
in this state of mind BEFORE you meet her,
so this way she gets to actually feel MORE
comfortable to join your “party” since she
doesn’t have to feel it’s all about HER,
rather it’s about the chance to FEEL GOOD.
And guess what?
If a woman is feeling good and sexual around
you, and the other guys in her life are boring her,
guess who she’s going to BE with?
YOU.
This feeling GOOD stuff is so powerful, and
yet 99% of people prevent themselves from
feeling this by getting caught up in all kinds
of negative emotions.
Make yourself the one guy on earth who IS
her drug, the source of feeling intoxicatingly
awesome.
And the irony is that you will do this best by
NOT doing it for HER, but by already being
in this state BEFORE you bump into her.
Yeah, I know you might say it’s the same
thing because you are doing it for her, but
once you do this, you will actually FEEL
way more awesome anyway, and you
really WON’T be doing it just for her!
This is why so many of the most beautiful
women in real life are with men who have
a LIFESTYLE that is compelling/fun/intriguing.
By LIFESTYLE, I mean they way they live
their lives from day to day, how much of that
time is spent feeling awesome emotions
compared to boring ones or negative ones.
You don’t have to be in this state 24/7, but you
definitely want to be in this state if you are out
trying to meet and attract women.
TWO: CHANGE YOUR WARDROBE
Clothing is something we all have to wear most
of the time – and it covers us from almost head
to toe- it’s LIKE AN ADVERTISING BILLBOARD,
but the “ad” that most guys are wearing is saying:
“I’m boring and not social and not looking to
have any fun, ever.”
So you should definitely be pushing the envelope
to find clothing that has STYLE, and that reflects
some of your OWN personality as well- whether
it’s leather with some shiny metallic on it,
whether it’s an unusual but cool denim,
you want to be STANDING OUT and not
wearing the thing that makes you blend in
as one of a billion other guys.
This is a huge topic in itself, but the key
is to remember that no matter what your
environment, whether it’s work or a club
or a party, you can always find the thing
that you can get away with that pushes
the envelope without being ridiculous
in each environment.
Another thing to remember is that most guys
tend to avoid upbeat colors, and it’s a good idea
to incorporate some more color, even if it’s just
a BIT of bright color to offset what is mostly
dark colors.
This was the hardest thing for me to do at first,
because I actually felt so gloomy and angry, I
liked dressing more like Batman, all brooding,
so it took a while for me to have some more range
with some color as well.
No one is saying you have to wear pink and yellow,
or look “gay”, there are a lot of other options besides
that.
You may want to ask the most attractive female
clerk at the clothing store for her help, and while
you’re at it, go for her number as well.
THREE: USE YOUR VOICE
Start things off RIGHT.
When you initially say the first WORD (and after
as well, but especially when you start, to get her
attention the first time) to a woman who is a total
stranger, it’s important that you don’t come across
as weak or without conviction in your decision to
talk to her.
Say it with FULL AUTHORITY in your voice,
whether it’s “Hi” or “Hey” or “I’m on my way to
the King Tut exhibit at the museum”, say it with
TOTAL AUTHORITY, and this way she won’t
question WHY you are talking to her and it will
also get her attention in a receptive way, so that
now you can actually get into the more juicy fun
or interesting stuff you were going to talk about
to her.
FOUR: THE WAY IT BEGINS IS THE WAY IT ENDS
Now, it’s important to realize regarding the above
things, that whatever you do in the beginning will
set up the DYNAMIC of how things will go till the
END.
If you set up the dynamic as highly sexual but without
any deeper connection going on, then your relationship
will likely become sexual but then explode and self-destruct
quickly.
If you tease a woman too much, she will end up
teasing you back hardcore as well, and this might
get out of hand and become annoying after a while.
If you keep the dynamic too “anti-septic” and safe
and free of sexual vibe, you will end up as friends only,
and you don’t want that.
If you play games too much in the beginning, the relationship
will end as a result of these games as well.
So you must strike the right BALANCE in your
interactions with women, and you must do this
right especially at the BEGINNING, so that
things are established immediately and flow
in the direction you want.
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