What makes women tick is a man who makes
them feel ALIVE in the fullest sense- and the
only way for her to feel that is to have as many
awesome emotions being pumped through
her system as possible: Adrenaline rushes,
laughter, love, romance, adventure, to name
a few.
Once you have done THAT, you have become
DESIRABLE, at which point it THEN makes
sense to truly VALIDATE her and give her
the kind of genuine compliments to take her
self-esteem to an even higher level, because
ultimately the greatest high is feeling infinite
self-esteem.
Most guys though, rather than turning women’s
emotions ON, are actually shutting them DOWN.
The reason for this is because they themselves
submit to various FEARS.
The key to DESTROYING fears is to
DO the thing you fear, not just once but
again and again, that’s what makes
it eventually go away.
Initially, when doing what you fear,
your anxiety will actually INCREASE.
But then it will go DOWN, massively.
We don’t live forever, which is a damn good
reason to stop wasting TIME on fears and
instead to ENJOY LIFE, which includes
being with a great woman.
The fear of approaching women you’d like
to talk to will only get MORE INTENSE if
you give into that fear.
Fear is the most paralyzing emotion of all-
it shuts down every other cool emotion in yourself-
it shuts down your sense of humor, it shuts down
your sense of adventure, it shuts down even your
sex drive, it shuts down your self-esteem.
You can never get rid of ALL fear, and
you shouldn’t, or you’d do stupid things,
but the problem is that fear usually gets
OUT OF HAND and begins to CONTROL
people.
All the empowering, fun, cool emotions, are
all intricately RELATED to each other, even
if you aren’t conscious of it, they are TOTALLY
related and being able to tap into any ONE of
these cool emotions helps you ALSO tap into
the other empowering emotions as well.
See, the REAL secret to, for example, a great
comedian’s talent is not “his sense of comedy”,
but rather his ability to NOT SUBMIT TO
THE FEAR OF CRITISISM.
So the FIRST key to charisma is:
1. STOP CATERING TO YOUR FEAR OF CRITISISM
Imagine now, a scenario where you see a
woman you’d like to approach, maybe she’s
on the train, or in the bookstore, but there are
OTHER PEOPLE AROUND HER.
I used to let this kind of thing BOTHER me,
as if these OTHER people were going to
suddenly open an official BOOK of
“How to behave” where it says “Though
shall not approach women you are
attracted to” and “Though shalt remain
BORED rather than EXCITED.”
But then the coolest thing was that I
started to get ADDICTED to the
DRAMA of this “danger” and I
enjoyed the PROCESS of approaching
women almost as much as the end
result of getting a date, a number, or
whatever else – in fact, sometimes
I enjoyed the process even MORE
than the end result- and you can too!
And you can push the envelope so much
FURTHER than just making the approach,
by doing it in a way that is FUN
and CONFIDENT.
Confidence is a sign of LIFE AND
THRIVING, and flips on her emotional
switches to ATTRACTION.
If she’s working in a store and you
chat her up, rather than being all
apologetic, it’s cooler and more fun
to turn things around, as if she
was trying to pick YOU up.
So you can tell her to stop staring at
you like you are piece of meat, that you
feel uncomfortable only being desired
physically and not also for your MIND.
This is fun, playful, confident, and
allows her to flirt back with you because
you have set it up as PLAYFUL which means
she can enjoy the process without worrying
too much if it has to MEAN SOMETHING SERIOUS
or not- and the irony is that by not having
the pressure on, she is free to actually
ENJOY your interaction, and she feels
much more free to show her sexuality,
since after all, it’s just “playful”.
This playfulness is a license to do
almost ANYTHING, allowing you to break
through the barriers of what is considered
“proper” behavior- and “proper” behavior
is boring, brainwashed behavior, it is
the ANTI-ATTRACTION! Do not follow
“proper” behavior unless you want
to chase women away.
By enjoying the process, by the way,
you also tend to not give up, which
makes you practice a LOT and that
makes you even better.
All because rather than giving IN
to the fear, you can learn to ENJOY
the fun and adrenaline of it!
This means rather than looking for
reasons why everything has to be
safe from risk of rejection, you
actually DON’T look for this and
instead you ENJOY the rush of the
“risk”. (Of course, there IS no
physical risk – it’s all a mindgame,
and the way to win is to stop
trying to find ways OUT and
rather EMBRACE the process.)
Think about it, the best comedians tell us things
that most other people are AFRAID to talk
about, because it’s somehow ‘inappropriate’
to speak about certain topics or issues or
realities, and the more we REPRESS these
things as a society, the more we APPRECIATE
HAVING SOMEONE LIBERATE US
from these things.
So, tip number TWO:
2. OBSERVE THE IMBECILITY OF HUMAN BEHAVIOR
So, for example, the great George Carlin
used to say that basically wars start
because some insecure male starts a
PRICK WAVING CONTEST – stemming from
his own INSECURITY about his own prick,
and how bombs and missiles are even shaped
like them and how it’s all about ‘screwing’
someone else.
Now, obviously, humor exaggerates, but
the BASIC TRUTH is still there- that
human AGGRESSION is the result of
INSECURITY and EGO.
And isn’t this true? If you go back
and think even to kindergarten, someone
had to make fun of someone else or be
cruel for no reason at all – it was just
insecurity, and this continues through
grade school, into adulthood and all
their lives for some people.
Observing the TRUTH and not being
afraid to say it, especially if the truth
is something IMPORTANT that helps
us become BETTER people by becoming
more AWARE of ourselves, is COOL
because it liberates us from that fear.
Here’s the THIRD key to charisma:
3. IF IT DOESN’T TAKE ANY GUTS TO SAY,
THEN IT WON’T TRIGGER ANY EMOTION!
So for example going back to the idea
of turning things around, and implying
that a woman is chasing you and how
you want to be appreciated for your mind,
it’s funny and it’s confident and takes
guts.
It’s not about being mean-spirited, it’s
about not being held back by FEAR.
Another key to making women feel
ALIVE is to realize that all fears are
really pathetic, since life is far too
short to waste time on getting DOWN
when you can be spending that same
time ENJOYING THE HELL OUT OF
LIFE.
So this brings me to key number FOUR:
4. CHANGE THE PERSPECTIVE
If you are chatting with a woman and
she brings up something negative, turn
it around – i.e. if she mentions some
female co-worker of hers that’s a
pain in the ass, rather than get all
serious you might try putting a
REFRAME on the entire perspective
by making a PLAYFUL remark,
such as “Well, I am a hitman and
I could take care of her for you, but
it will cost about 500 bucks, plus
tax.”
All emotions are about perspectives,
so if you change the perspective, you
change the emotion.
This is true even for small things, like for
example let’s say you are out with a woman
at a restaurant and you get a steak that is
done too rare, and before you send it back,
you tell her, “This thing needs BANDAGES!”
(courtesy of comedian Arie Kizel)
The great news when it comes to being skilled
at attracting a woman, is that the bar is not
very HIGH since so FEW guys practice at ALL!
Also, this is a skill that you can learn the
core skills relatively FAST, kind of like
learning to ride a bicycle.
At first you might very well feel
LACK OF CONFIDENCE, and that’s fine.
This is not a reason NOT to go up to a woman,
in fact, it’s the best reason to actually DO IT,
because doing that which you fear is what
makes you GROW and become more charismatic.
Courage is a cool thing, women are attracted
to it, so the next time you see a woman in
a situation like she’s working in a lingerie
store and you think it’s too weird to enter
to talk to her, just realize that the very
fact it takes more guts is what will give
you more points in her eyes.
The coolest thing of all is that after a while,
approaching women will become so easy
for you that you will WANT the adrenaline
rush and you will start to push the
envelope further and further in terms of
your humor, wit, and the kinds of situations
you enter regarding your approaches, all
of which will make you more and more
attractive to women.
You will stop worrying about failure or
rejection and instead be thinking of how
you can RAISE the bar for YOURSELF.
This is similar to how people who are great
at any skill, be it acting, music, writing, a sport,
or anything else, will strive to reach higher
and higher, because they enjoy the RUSH
of out-doing THEMSELVES and breaking
through to the next level of what was
previously unknown territory to them.
And if you’re reading this right now,
and you are serious about attracting
the woman you want, then I suggest
you get my book, ‘Get A Great Girl’
RIGHT NOW.
It will show you what to do to make
her a REALITY in your life rather than
just a fantasy. It will show you what
to do from the very first moment you
SEE her.
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